Hey there fellow readers,
My first story here at Literotica. I’m new to writing erotic content, too. I recently found reading and writing erotic stories gets me horny as hell, so in lieu of keeping my writing to myself I decided to publish a few here.
This story is the first chapter to a novella I’ve been writing. I recently revised it to fall into the constraints of borderline eroticism, where this first chapter is not all that pornographic. Rather, it’s an exploration of an idea that came to me after watching an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, in which Larry David comments on how well endowed one of the young’uns playing nearby appeared, acting the fool as usual. The aspect I found hilarious was how he felt compelled to compliment the father on a job well done.
The story is about 12,300 words. Yes, I need a good editor!
Forever aroused by life,
A Walk in the Sand
California, where my story unfolds, is so far from the great tundra of northern Michigan, where the snowmobile rules the roost and where my parents raised me as a couple mostly in love. Toward the end of their divorce things got so heated I was shocked to witness how two people who loved each other for my entire life could become so hostile and cold toward each other- especially a minister and his wife. I found my love for them was not unconditional; rather, the love of my parents is based much upon the degree to which they loved each other. Listening to their antics I reasoned that if two so devout followers of Jesus as my parents had it wrong, how else was I brainwashed into thinking false truths?
I spent a cold depressing winter out on the icepack moving as fast as my snow-churner would take me, working my body to the point where my enduring welter-weight physique was that of a golden glove prize fighter who knows how to hold down an six-hundred kilogram machine from hell. At least, that’s how I saw myself while traversing the lake at 100 KPH. And by the time much of the snow and ice had melted I felt ornery as a wrestles bear after a long hibernation. I felt tarnished by icy hearts, willing to go to all lengths to find a sanctuary far from all that used to feel like a home.
“Mom, Dad, I’ve decided to go to visit Aunt Peg in California,” I said to them after we sat down for our weekly dinner together. “I’ll be eighteen next week and I want to go on vacation by myself,” accentuating the last part to emphasize my disdain. “I am going to use some of Grandpa’s inheritance money since I am now an adult. That’s how it is going to be.”
“This is all about your mother, isn’t it?” Dad scowled. “The good lord has tarnished you, and now you are against me, William. She put you against me, hasn’t she?”
“I did none of the sort,” Mother retorted hostilely, inadvertently sending a rain of stale bread spittle toward my face. “You are my beautiful child and I cannot live without you. Who will go with me to church in the evenings?”
Dad shouted, “You drove him away. Do you see what you do, woman? This not listening to me as the head of the household, how you diminish our son in the process? Helen, I may one day forgive you for this, but God shall not… to drive a son away from his father like this. Can’t you see he is serious? The boy is leaving us because of you!”
I remained calm and said clearly, “I’m going to stay with Aunt Peg until I decide which university I want to attend. I called her last week and she said I can stay at lest two months because Candice moved out, apparently unable to tolerate her sister, Susan, any longer.”
“They were constantly at each other since they were toddlers. I can see how they might have problems,” Mother replied nonchalantly, as if forgetting about the heated argument in process. “Candice must be twenty… three now? And Susan is your age. She is a smart girl, or she was the last time I saw her. But Peg did not have Jesus in her heart. Billy, I don’t want you to live with her and be influenced by her unchristian ways.”
After being sequestered in a cold desolate place my entire life, Oceanside, California, was like stepping onto the sun, but in a nice way. Having never left Michigan- with the exception of Canada, which frequently acts like our fifty-first State- it surprised me how different the foliage looked and how the air smelled rolling in from the Pacific, the sun looming larger in the sky. And when I first took notice of the girls walking the boardwalk wearing bikinis I thought about how loud Father would preach to them:
“Being unclothed under the eyes of GOD besmirches him, since he cast us out of Eden into a world of shame clothed in foliage. May you feel the punishment of embarrassment as a reminder to not make believe you are sin free and shameless. The penitence of clothing is justly deserved, that we scorn those who walk naked amongst each other as if still in paradise.”
One look at me told the locals I was certainly an out of town white boy from northern Michigan. I felt so out of place; untanned, wearing cut-off jeans and a faded t-shirt. I stood out like a skinless bleached potato surrounded by succulent Mediterranean veggies on a gloss-black dinner plate. Two days after my arrival the shock of loosing my geographic references subsided and I ventured out. I met an Italian-American girl named Cindy at the market, who was a few years older than me. She lived down the street a block closer to the beach. We got along well, and since neither of us were working we spent a lot of time together hanging out at the boardwalk.
I’d love to tell you about how attractive Cindy is, but I’d be fibbing. She is kind of homely. It was her face that did her the most injustice, permanently crinkled as if she’d just eaten a juicy lemon. But, for me, it was her weight that was a real turn-off. After a few days hanging out together I realized Cindy wanted more of an intimate relationship than what I was comfortable with. It came to a head with her making awkward advances and telling me how attractive she found me. Now, I do take care of myself by being active, so my endurance is through the roof even if some might think of me as small in build- as I am a five-foot six and lanky.
“I want to be with you, Billy, if you would have me,” she said as if she were asking me to marry her. “No matter how strange you sound, I think you are a fine looking man I could live with,” she said referring to my fine accent and questionable domestic situation.
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I couldn’t return the compliment, so I reinforced how much I enjoyed being friends with her, that it might be fun to live together ‘as friends.’ The expression on her puckered face changed to scorn. She teared up and became sad, and then out of the blue she accused me of being predigest toward obese woman! I did my best to calm her and reaffirm my position, that my feelings had nothing to do with her appearance. She jumped up and left in such a huff, crying her way down the block. She called later and apologized, saying that she knew all I wanted was a friendship and she was OK with that. To make a boring conversation short, she and her friend- along with her older sister, Janelle- were going to a private beach party in the morning, wondered if I wanted to go. I was ecstatic she wanted to remain friends, since I was feeling lonely, so I gratefully said yes.
The girls picked me up after breakfast and I was pleasantly surprised to find Cindy’s friend, Darla, and Janelle were intimidatingly beautiful! Janelle, who was driving her Cadillac Escalade, looked much older than Cindy, perhaps approaching her thirties. My first glimpse of her getting into the van stunned me. It was her face; I swear, she looked so exotic, her short blonde hair so thick and slightly jelled, her perfect white teeth smiling at me, her high Aryan cheekbones and full, luscious, naturally pouting lips screamed fashion model. I remember how she glanced at me with her well tanned, refined expression. Her encapsulated first impression of me at a glance revealing disinterest by means of a broken smile and a quick turn of the head. Even if Cindy’s sister was far too old and upper-class for me I was looking forward to seeing her in a wet swimsuit.
A warm sensual hand guided me into the back seat where I couldn’t help but melt stupid all over Darla, who was a real short Latino girl with silky black shoulder length hair, and a great smile that brightened me up as much as Janelle’s dismissive smirk brought me down. She wore a real bright-yellow summer dress that I’ll never forget because she looked so radiant in it; the epitome of summer beauty. And she was so engaging, her Spanglish making me feel at ease because it stood out even more than my northern drawl. Throughout the fifty-mile trip down the coast Cindy didn’t give me eye contact at all, her replies short, seemingly distracted, whereas Darla kept me entertained with stories of her adventures in Tijuana.
We pulled into a private parking lot, where Janelle had to show the security guard her membership card and we each received a red wristband. I could see right off by the architecture of the main building and the cars in the lot, Lido Beach was a place for the well-to-do. After unloading and a quick visit to the rest room, our procession commenced toward the shoreline, with me bringing up the rear like a Sherpa hauling baggage behind the important people. In this case, that was fine by me because I was able to check out two exceptionally gorgeous women. Trust me when I say watching Janelle lumber in tight white shorts through the shifting sand, well, it took fifty pounds off my back. Darla’s calf-length dress was so baggy on occasion the wind took hold of the fringe and blew her garment up, revealing well-shaped legs that set my pace in her trodden footsteps. My load still made me lag behind, though. By the time I caught up with them, they were standing next to a large sign that read… are you ready for this?
“Nude Beach: No Clothes OR Cameras Beyond This Point. No Dogs or Unsupervised Children. RED pass access only. Trespassers will immediately be fined and arrested.”
Holy shit! Janelle, Darla and Cindy were taking their clothes off! My initial reaction was how fortunate I was to watch two incredibly beautiful women get naked in front of me. I looked at poor Cindy, who was not in good shape at all. And when Darla took off her summer dress and undid her bra, I about fell over. Her boobs sat firmly on her chest in such a way I caught myself staring in disbelief; they were naturally firm and so pronounced, so beautifully proportionate to each other. I instinctually wanted to reach out and touch them, to feel her perky aureola in the palm of my hand. Then, it dawned on me that I had to take my own clothes off!
“You didn’t tell me we were going to a nude beach! Why didn’t you tell me about this?” I asked Cindy while fiddling with the pockets of my shorts.
I was starting to feel anxious because my parents are a bunch of puritanical prudes, who taught me how to be uncomfortable with my body any chance I could get. I mean, I’d never even been in the showers with the guys after gym class because I was home-schooled. My sister was planning on becoming a preacher, and I only saw her naked once my entire life. You know, sometimes I wondered if I was actually my father’s child. This was all racing around my mind in an instant, this new situational frustration revealing itself in the form of a full blush that partly hid itself beneath my sunburned face.
“Because I didn’t know, is why,” Cindy casually argued. “Janelle said she belonged to a private beach now, is all. Isn’t it beautiful? So, now that we are here I guess I’m fine with it. I’ve been to a nude beach before. How about you? Are you comfortable in your own skin or would you rather wait in the van? You think I’m fat don’t you?”
I shook my head, feigning I was distracted by Darla, but it was my internal conflict concerning nudity that had my attention. It seemed to me that Cindy was not being totally honest, as if she knew I’d be freaked out by taking my clothes off in public since I told her of my upbringing, especially in front of bombshell Darla and high-fashion physique Janelle. I felt manipulated, wanting to make a run for it while chanting distorted moral convictions made readily available by years of religious dogma and conditioning. I silently vowed to make a run for it just after Janelle finished taking her clothes off. I could not help but notice her small breasts were tan all over, her left nipple pierced with a gold ring and her well-trained abs showed that she, too, took care of her body, much unlike her sister. A diamond found a home in her bellybutton and lodged there. I contemplated how she could keep such an even tan all over her well-shaped hour-glass body.
While pulling her shorts over her wide hips, gently rubbing the sand from her exquisite legs, Janelle said, “Look, Billy, it’s no big deal. No one will even notice you, but you ‘do’ have to take your clothes off. That’s the rule number one at a nude beach. No clothes and no cameras. Besides, all the guys will be busy gawking at Miss Perfect Tits here.” She pointed to Darla with her thumb like a hitchhiker. “And there will be a lot of naked people, so you’ll blend in.” She slid her tiny panties slowly down to her feet, showing me a fine tuft of fine blonde hair in the shape of an arrow that pointed down.
I thought she was right; they’d all be looking at Janelle’s incredibly well shaped bubble-butt, and built-like-a-brick-shit-house Darla, who held a look of satisfaction brought about by liberation from that oppressive summer dress, which she rolled up and gently stuffed into her carry-bag.
“That feels so much better,” Darla said quickly applying an excessive amount of sun screen all over her body.
Janelle, speaking to Darla said, “Especially since there are so many hunks that come here.” Looking me directly in the face, squinting her eyes like a school teacher who had observed questionable behavior, she said, “And you will be well supervised,” taunting me since I was still clothed pacing next to the sign unable to stand still.
Now, perhaps I was wrong in thinking so, but I thought Janelle meant to say, “Don’t worry about being naked around us girls, Billy, because there are far more attractive men around here than you… because you are not pretty enough; you, Billy, are too scrawny and unattractive, and from a foreign land that holds little interest for a sophisticated woman, no matter how approachable she may appear to your little mind; I dismiss you as a child unworthy of consideration.”
A self-righteous smile cross Cindy’s face, like she was paying me back for not wanting her sexually. I felt self-conscious, indeed, having no experience being naked whatsoever, especially in front of others. It was as if I didn’t know how to do it… how to take my clothes off. Hand blocking my eyes from the glare, I stared at the sign mesmerized, transfixed on the word that stood out as if in neon: NUDE. I remembered my vow back on the ice pack to move away from my isolation and experience new things, so why the hell not now? I dumped all the gear into a big pile and stripped, talking to myself all the while, trying to convince my inner dialogue that I was no longer a pubescent child under the guise of overly-religious parents. I was going to act like an adult!
I pulled my shorts and underwear down, feeling a western breeze on my genitalia for the first time. My shirt, I about tore off, so frustrated was I in having to make this choice. I stowed my sandals and clothes in a bag and hastily took hold of the panoply of items bestowed upon me by the girls, collecting them up in a measured huff. I struggled forward with unstable gait, my footing impeded by the hot shifting sand. My internal dialogue shifted to how the beach sand made the girls walk, swaying their hips in a wider range of motion than I was accustomed, as a landlubber of the frozen northern terrain.
All went well initially, with none of them staring or making comments about my body. I was expecting Cindy to start up with wise cracks about how thin I am, but she just ignored me as best she could. I could tell she was snatching glimpses of me when she thought I wasn’t looking. They all were doing that, but probably not as much as I was looking at Darla, her big boobs bouncing along in all her glory; how they snapped firmly back into place with each step. After a ten minute march we made it to the edge of the main beach area where most of the people were lounging. There must have been over two hundred people I could see and it wasn’t even noon yet.
At my request, we took a break. I complained about feeling like I was a camel in the movie, Lawrence of Arabia. And the sand was hot! So, I put down the beach chair, the cooler, the blankets and towels, trying not to fall in the process. Temporarily rid of my burden, I turned to find the three of them looking at me while I was downing half a water bottle. Through the wind I heard Janelle say to Darla something about “sticking out like a sore thumb,” while gesturing toward me with that hitchhiker’s thumb of hers. I motioned if there was some kind of problem, still struggling to understand what they were saying over the gust of wind.
Cindy yelled to me, “Well, be prepared to get a lot of looks today, is all.” Darla and Janelle guffawed at this and the three of them moved closer to me so we could talk without shouting, each smiling as if surprised in a humorous way.
“I don’t understand. What did you say?” I asked Cindy.
“My, look at you,” Janelle said with a tertiary glance. “She said you might get some stares from the other sunbathers, is all.” She looked down at my waist and said, “But I imagine you expect that already.”
“Why is that? Because I’m scrawny? Is some guy going to kick sand in my face? My far-too-white ass? Does it look like a bright light bulb?” I asked while turning to look at my backside, trying to diffuse my anxiety.
Janelle replied, “It’s that lack of tanning in your nether region. It’s like you are asking for attention, so bright white is you northerner skin, Hon.”
With such a beautiful face, I felt compelled to accept anything Janelle said as true, as if her words were tainted pure by those succulent glossy lips. I asked, “What’s the matter with my skin? So, I’m a little white. What’s the big deal?”
Looking at me inquisitively, she scratched her head and asked, “You do realize since you are mostly tan everywhere except for where your shorts were; being well endowed it highlights that part of your pearly-white anatomy?”
I guess Cindy read confusion on my face. She said to Darla, “He doesn’t know he’s hung. The country-boy has no idea he’s hung like a horse.”
This is embarrassing to write about because at first I didn’t think she was referring to me! I looked around, thinking some giant guy had joined our caravan. I didn’t have a clue what she meant about horses, since I’ve seen horses and they were a heck of a lot bigger than me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Of course he knows it. How could he not? That’s like Darla not knowing she has big tits,” Janelle said looking at my body, who then stared into my face with great intensity and asked, “How old are you? You look so young to have something like that between your legs.” Her expression of disbelief was gorgeous.
“I’m eighteen. My birthday was last week,” I answered trying to look austere and older. Perhaps I looked a little older with my clothes on, since I have little body hair. She turned to look at her sister for confirmation, and received an agreeable nod. I certainly was more emotionally mature than the average eighteen year old, even if I didn’t look it. And I set out to prove that point by shifting my posture and puffing up my chest, thinking that somehow it might make me look older that way.
Darla moved closer so she could hear the conversation better, caught part of what they were talking about and nodded vigorously, saying, ” Eres grande como un toro . Nunca he visto una cosa así y no es incluso difícil,” before realizing she was speaking Spanish. “That’s big and real… out there. That’s very big, Billy.” She gestured with her hands separated to show my length. “You don’t see things around here like that.”
Janelle asked, “Is that true, that you have no idea you’ve got a really large penis?”
“Can’t say I do. I just like the way God made all of us, with each perhaps a little different that the rest, but our bodies are unimportant,” I said citing my conservative puritanical upbringing. “I have all my parts, and they work well. But being big? Can’t say that I do. And I try not to make judgments on other peoples’ bodies. Are my eyes big, too? What about my feet? What does it matter when you have a strong spirit and belief in a higher power?”
“I told you. He is such an innocent country boy,” Cindy said while nudging her sister with her elbow, who, in turn, did her best not to laugh.
“Didn’t you ever compare with you friends or see other boys at the locker room?” Janelle asked, covering her enigmatic smile with her hand.
Darla asked, “Your girlfriend no tell you?”
It felt so weird, standing there with the three of them looking at me. I shook my head side to side, feeling baffled. “Our church frowns on such things. Julie never said anything about me being big. And I never called her big, even if she was a bit overweight,” I confided looking at Cindy.
For a moment I felt I was being set-up, thinking these three good friends were leading me on as part of some hoax to prove I was a hick from the sticks. I was telling the truth about it because I had no reason to lie. I didn’t know, so big fucking deal! I started to feel more embarrassed by my ignorance. Why were they making issue of it?
“Am I that much bigger than the other guys you’ve seen? Or are the three of you putting me on. I have no idea…” I felt so emotionally vulnerable, and so gullible.
“That…” Janelle said pointing down definitively, “is much bigger than most guys are when they have an erection. Trust me: I know. “
In the heat of the exchange I’m not sure she realized it, but Janelle reached out and gave my prick a light smack with her open hand, perhaps to accentuate her point. Watching her beautiful body, so lean and well-tanned, her standing there naked staring at my cock. Then, to reach out and flick my dick like that! Well, it got my blood flowing as if she had slapped open a valve in my groin. I started to get hard fast, thinking I should go cover myself with a towel quickly. I felt a sense of panic sweep past my brow, on its way down my body to join the blood flowing of its own accord. Darla was first to notice, her surprised glance back up at me showing curiosity.
“I’m sorry,” I said apologetically. I took a step back. “I’m not sure what to do.” I continued to back up slowly, looking for my towel. “I think all this attention from you girls is going to my head.”
Janelle took hold of my hand and pulled me from my retreat, back to where I was standing, gesturing that I was fine to stand my ground. We four had a moment of awkward silence standing there in the wind, the three of them staring at me, watching my penis grow, whereas I was fascinated by the expressions on their faces; the mix of admiration and awe, shock and surprise got me even more excited, my body reacting the perpetual loop.
“It must be hard to think with all that blood rushing from your brain like that,” Cindy said with a sense of amazement that made me feel uncomfortable, as did her hardening nipples. “When is that going to stop getting bigger? Perhaps we should clear the beach.”
Fortunately, her off-kilter comment got them laughing, dislodging their combined concentration on that which loomed between us. They were staring at me in a way I’d never experienced before. I felt so out of control and out of character. I’ve never felt more in the center of attention that at that very moment, perplexed by their unexpected reaction to my expanding nudity.
“That is impressive,” Janelle said. “I can now say, for sure, Billy, you’ve got the biggest dick I’ve ever seen… by far. Very nice, and so well shaped.”
“Dat’s twice as big as it was before. Look at how it curves to the left!” Darla commented. “Dat’s so nice looking, Billy. You are so lucky to have a cute one like that. I’ve never seen one that large, and I’ve seen a lot working at the hospital.” Turning to Cindy she said, “And he has such big balls, too, Cindy. You like that, don’t you?”
Cindy looked aghast and astonished. She wiped saliva from her lips and said, “I think I need to take a road trip to Michigan. I love that cock. That… ” she said pointing while pausing for effect, “… is a magnificent dick! Look, I know you are not into me, but credit where credit is due, Billy, and now you really, really suck for not wanting me.”
Janelle said, “It’s like God gave him a big fat dick, then added four more curved inches for the hell of it.”
Darla said, “It’s not just that he is so big, its that he is a thin short boy who has such a young looking face.” She looked me over again. “I love a hairless baby-smooth penis like that. That must be a good ten or eleven inches long… look how it hangs down like dat because it is so heavy. Dat’s too much for me.”
“Well, what do we do now?” Cindy interrupted. “We can’t walk around the beach with him like that!”
I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent, stunned Janelle took such an interest in me all of a sudden. Was I really that different? And why should it matter? I felt bewildered.
Eyebrows scrunched up, index finger waiving, Janelle looked as if she had some kind of insight. “You know, those old fucks laying around over there,” she said pointing toward the concession area, “might get a kick out our young stud here. Wouldn’t that be funny, to see their expressions? We could fuck with Mike! That rich fuck. And he has such a small cock. He thinks money can buy him anything. Well, it can’t buy him that!” she said pointing her thumb at me. “That would be so funny! I…”
I could see she had another thought, as she cut herself short, went digging into her beach bag like a ferret after raw bones, then emerging with a spool of bright-red ribbon commonly used for craft projects. Giving Darla and Cindy eye contact with a mischievous look that seemed even more devious because of that sensual quality of hers, she held up the roll and said, “Let’s take our new friend on a beach parade to start off the party.”
Janelle turned to me with such a guileful smile it scared me a little. “Bill, go pick up the stuff and we’ll march right through them.” She said to her sister, “With him just like that!” referring to my now rigid erection.
“That would be so funny!” Darla agreed.
“What like…” Cindy said trying to understand what the ribbon was for. “…you put the ribbon around his neck… like he is our slave?”
Darla said, “No, silly. She lead him by his penis… no way! You wouldn’t do that. Janelle, no way. You would lead this shy boy into a den of lions?”
“I love it!” Cindy replied, smiling ear to ear. She looked at me as if wanting to know my take on the matter, implying I should be complacent if not eager.
“I’m here to have some fun, so whatever,” I said with a shirk.
My new leader with the seditious-looking face, short hair ruffling in the breeze, put her arms around my neck and looked at me with a sparkle in her eye her diamond could never match. Sultry voice enhanced, she said, “Billy, some things you do for the experience and because you are alive and living in the moment. It is such a beautiful day. Don’t you feel more alive walking naked on the beach with us? What more reward do we need? Are you having fun? And you will meet new friends. Don’t you feel lucky to see a girl like Darla naked? That’s going to keep you hard, isn’t it? Look at her body, Billy. Think about her and stay hard for me?”
“Mind if I think of you?” I asked devilishly.
She kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “If I wasn’t dating a guy I’d be all over you, Billy. So, feel free to think about my tight ass if that will keep you hard for me.”
The girls helped load me up correctly balanced and I still fumbled with the gear. Janelle took the handbag she was carrying and shoved it under my arm, grabbed Cindy’s clothes bag and slung it around my neck, took the towels and the blanket off the cooler and exchanged them with Darla’s two bags. I was laden beyond overload, but my adrenaline was kicking in big time. I was having fun in the sun with new friends, taking on the role of a naked packhorse. It was my saving grace the cooler was only a quarter full.
“Be sure to keep the cooler high, so they can see,” Janelle reminded me while correcting my stance. “Perfect. Just like that, so the sun hits below your belly. Very nice. My, the sun like that making it glow… you do have a magnificent cock. I’d love a pic of that. Are we ready?” she asked.
Out of the blue, I felt two slick warm hands on my penis. It was Darla, who stroked me admiringly. Sounding clinical she said, “We don’t want that to get no sun burned; dat’s something you don’t want for sure. PF 1,000 because it looks so nice like an ivory statue. Yes, my Billy, you have the cock that Michelangelo should have given David, instead of that tiny thing he ended up with. How did you end up with something like this on your small body? That looks so scary to me.” She rubbed lotion around my hips and massaged my testicles, moving slightly beyond her initial role of clinician.
Reluctantly, Darla let go when she noticed Janelle unraveling the three-meter spool of ribbon. She grinned and took the bright ribbon from her hand, tied a large bow toward one end, fastened a slipknot just before it bulged left thirty degrees and pulled it tight lovingly, inspecting me as if she might after wrapping a Christmas gift. Then, Janelle took hold of the other end, securely lacing the ribbon around the barren ring finger of her left hand.
“Does this mean we are going steady?” I asked.
Leaning into me so her sister couldn’t hear, Janelle replied, “If Cindy weren’t hot on you I’d love to give you a try, but such is life.”
As we made our way the remaining hundred meters of hot sand toward well chartered territoriality, we began to encounter other naked people. There were an unusually high number of old-men clusters standing along the shore and groups of teenaged boys roamed up and down the beach checking out the naked girls. A four-piece reggae band was starting up under a large gazebo. Klatches of middle-aged women, too, who were acting as if they had clothes on, were more prevalent than the beach dwellers my own age; there were still quite a few of us young people cloistered about. And there were the children, too, which surprised me. Not all that many, but they where about, playing naked in the sand and swimming with their parents. I had to remind myself that the inhabitants on this private beach where nudist. It was just another day for them, whereas I was out of my natural, fully clothed, element.
When we approached near the concession stand those nearby in line couldn’t help but stop what they were doing to watch our little procession, a few clapping once they realized what was going on.
“Oh my god!” I heard one woman say looking at my bound boner.
Another said, “It’s a big penis parade. I’ve heard about those…”
I heard a man’s voice retort, “She can lead my reggae parade any day,” and his wife said, “That’s twice as big as yours, Rog, and look how young he is.”
Now and then one of my three charges would say things like, “Good help these days is so hard to find,” and “Move faster slave, and don’t drop the bags,” and, “We shall have good use of you later, Slave,” which incited the onlookers. They really set the mood and got me laughing right along with them. We fell into a fit of laughter at one point and I took a fall. A lot of the onlookers were smiling, also; a few outright in hysterics. When I arose my cock was covered in sand. There must have been forty naked people scattered along the beach looking our way. I could see all the men fixated on Darla and Janelle, a few ladies shifting to get a better look at me toting my burden, as I gently brushed the sand off of home plate.
I felt awkward when a group of three younger kids blocked our path, asking me, “Is that real?” and “Did someone put that on you?” and “Does that hurt?” referring to the ribbon I assumed, each in rapid succession. The youngest kid asked, “How did it get so swollen like that?” Their parents called to them and they scurried off, arms out like the wings of a jet fighters returning to the carrier/blanket. One of the woman yell to Janelle, “You caught a good one there, Janelle. He’s a keeper!” Her friend next to her said, “He needs a few more years for my taste… throw him back into the water for a while longer.”
I couldn’t get over how some of the woman looked at me as an oddity. It was just a penis, not the Crown Jewels of London. Three high school girls sitting with their feet in the water actually stopped their discussion and looked at me as if they’d seen a shark; standing up quickly, they moved out into the shallow water, then went into a laughing fit like girls do, high shrills and all. They clung to each other seemingly aghast at the size of my tethered, now quite sandy, endowment. The notion that these girls, whom if I were fully clothed would never acknowledge my presence, were giving me right-of-way and were shocked into hysteria by seeing my naked upon approach. Well, it was hard to believe. I cupped some water and washed the sand from my engorged member.
While Darla and Cindy spoke with friends, I went for a swim. After about half an hour Janelle fetched me and demanded I get hard again. She asked so nicely I didn’t have a choice. Once affixed to our intimate tether, she led me on an excursion through a well populated area, where we received more stares, compliments and comments, along with a few irate stares. Then, she stopped in front of four middle-aged men, who sat at a folding table playing cards and drinking beer. Janelle pulled me in close, so the ribbon dangled my erection like a puppet on a string. She jostled the ribbon, holding it chest-high, and caught the attention of a fit middle-aged man with a full head of red hair. Immediately, Janelle went into a model pose looking scrumptious, highlighting my cock as if it were a gift on The Price is Right- a Bob Marley tune playing in the background.
She said so as to be heard over the music, “Now Tommy, unless you can grow something like this, you’d best mark me off of your bucket list.” She sounded as if she had just delivered a proclamation to the townspeople and awaited a well-deserved reply.
Old Tommy gazed at my cock and did a double take before saying, “I’d pay good money to watch you ride that beast, my darling.” Two of the men grumbled an agreement, while the other said, “Now, that’s something you don’t see everyday.”
“In your dreams, Tommy Flanagan. In your dreams,” Janell retorted while turning to give him a good look at her delectable backside.
“Hey, Trixie, get a look at this kid,” said a balding third man.
Having heard her name, an attractive black woman in her forties rolled over on the blanket directly in front of us. She removed her sunglasses and said, “Wow. That’s a monster. Young man, you should be makin’ pornos with a real big one like that. In my day I’d want to do a movie with you. And look how skinny you are!”
I shook my head without a verbal reply, not sure what to make of it, so I decided to make the best of it by gesticulating my shoulders and staying in line with my luscious captor. We turned and headed toward the ocean, an uproar of laughter tiding behind us.
Now, having had the opportunity to compare myself with others on the beach, and how beach dwellers were reacting to my erect penis, I could see what the girls said to me earlier was true. And not one of the smaller men was hard like me! This baffled me to a great degree in that a few of the girls were looking so sexy, naked in the hot sun, splashing around.
I watched as Darla and Cindy marked out our territoriality with two large blankets while Janelle helped me unload. And as I stretched I could see a mixed gaggle of ten-or-so college-aged sun worshipers playing nearby, tossing a Frisbee, throwing a football around in the shallow water. A few of the girls were just topless, others naked as me. I assumed they were the ‘in-cool’ set of university students who wanted to demonstrate their independence through communal nakedness. Two of the girls were talking to each other with their hands covering their mouths, looking at me.
I took hold of my erection and said, “I want to wash the sand off. I’ll be right back.”
In reality, I wanted to show the chatting girls over there my penis, to see what they thought about it. Chuckling to myself along the way, I thought about how if I planned to be an exhibitionist I should invest in an overcoat. This notion reminded me of how a woman with new breast implants want others to come-see. I walked the forty paces toward the water and as I drew closer the studious-looking girl with the dark glasses and lopsided boobs asked, “Is that real?” pointing to my semi-erect penis. I shook my head in the affirmative, inquisitive as to why she would ask such a question.
A tall athletic guy next to her noticed me and said, “Fucking A! Little dude! Rock on! That is incredible!” Turning to his friend throwing the football, he said, “Donnie, did you see at the size of this short kid? Look at this shlong! Hey, Diane, come over here and check this out. This kid is huge!”
A twang of anxiety caught me off guard and I stammered, “I wish I had muscles like you, too.”
“Man, you are one lucky dude to have one that big,” said the tall guy, standing up and towering over me.
With that, a few of the girls gasped, their friends coming over to see what the fuss was all about. Eight of them gathered around to check me out. Again, they affirmed I was large. After a short while most lost interest and went back to what it was they were doing in the first place. I milled about talking to the tall athletic guy who complimented me so. And his girlfriend, Diane, seemed to enjoy looking at my penis, giving me eye contact for just an instant. I got the sense she was going to reach out and grab it out of curiosity like how I responded to Darla’s topless breasts.
I noticed the same girl who asked if my dick was real was staring at my erection seemingly in disbelief, so I stood there still as I could, getting a thrill out of how her curious eyes made me bigger, when all of a sudden a white-haired man my fathers age rushed up to me, having witnessed the girls reaction.
He shook my arm and said obviously upset, “Please, we have children on the beach!” I don’t think he realized how young I was until he got up close. “Please, find yourself a towel. That’s not right to walk around like that,” he argued.
A heavy-set black girl who was part of the group said, “He doesn’t have to cover it up. Our bodies are made in God’s image. That’s why we don’t have to wear clothes at the beach.”
It sounded right to me, so I agreed with her by saying, “It’s a nude beach and I am naked. The sign said nothing about erections. What, are you the cock police?”
Another woman in her sixties sitting nearby, who was quite wrinkled by too many years in the sun, said to her friend next to her, “Did she just say that God has a really big dick?”
A short athletic black man, who had a larger penis than the other guys he was with, caught the spirit. In an intimidating stance, he said, “The cock police have no right to try and put a big dick down. Now, is this white man trying to put a big-dick brotha down? Let the man stay hard, it that’s what he wants to do. You got a problem with that, you see me!”
I found his attitude extremely amusing, as did everyone except the white-haired gentlemen, who stood with arms crossed all flustered, standing his ground. Four of the white-haired man’s friends were cupping their ears trying to hear the exchange, their strained faces emoting a frustrated annoyance. A man and woman, who were much older than the white-haired man, stood as if to defend the line in the sand, if not to hear the conversation better.
“Leave him be! I like looking at it,” I heard Diane bellow out. “It’s a hell of a lot more interesting than what you got going on.”
One of the girls on the other side of our small crowd must have just noticed me because in a moment of silence, having now noticed my erection, she blared out, “Oh my god, his dick is huge! Look at that stick out like that! I bet he’d be easy to track in the sand!”
More laughter and jeers ensued, which drew the attention of others. The woman closest to the white-haired man, who was sagging well into her eighties, said, “That’s not right, to go around aroused like that. What do you think the children would make of that?”
A petite girl a little younger than me, and quite well developed, said, “Let his freak flag fly!” then threw an ice cube in jest, inadvertently striking the elderly woman on the cheek.
One of other girls still laughing exclaimed, “God has a big dick!”
The tall guy said to the white-haired man, “If you had one like that, I’d bet you’d want to show it off, wouldn’t you? You hypocrite!”
The others took up the chant. “God has a big dick. God has a big dick…” laughing and tickling each other all the while. It was a thing to see, how they rallied behind me like that.
Shaking his head in frustration, the white-haired man said, “Nudity has nothing to do with sexuality. This is no place to get excited. If you want to masturbate, go home and do it, not on our sand.”
I cried after him, “It’s a nude beach. I’m nude, so give me a break! What do you expect? You must be dead if these naked girls don’t excite you! I’m sorry if you have a problem there, but don’t take it out on me.”
Whom I assumed to be the upset woman’s husband tried to calm his wife by saying, “No need to get upset, Hazel. The freak kid is out to get attention, is all. Let him play his games and ask for forgiveness for his sins of youth when he grows older. Remember how we did silly things when we were young?”
She, in turn, held her chest and shook her head scolding me.”That’s not right. A married woman should not have to see an under-aged boy in such a condition,” her voice trailing off into a cough. “Not that you are not a nice looking boy…” she said, her eyes bulging a stare at my mid-section. Hazel crossed her arms and strained into another deeper cough, her exhale a shallow pant. “Ohh…oahhh… my chest…”
“She’s having another heart attack!” her husband fretted. “Get her pills. Where is her purse?” he asked frantically. A scuffle ensued that resulted in her husband’s awareness that Hazel had left her pills at home. Her heart went into fibrillation and finally gave out, her legs twitching uncontrollably. She was as dead as the small fiddler crab that lay underneath her worn-out body. When the tall athletic man came to assist, her husband said not to bother, that she knew she was sick and going to die soon. “Do not resuscitate, is what she wanted; there is nothing that can be done,” the old man said grief stricken. “She loved this beach. Better it occur here, I guess.”
The State police were called and arrived shortly after the ambulance. Wearing a borrowed beach towel I found myself standing in a cold florescent-lit room in back of the concession building. The bench I was sitting on was so hard my ass started to hurt after a short while, the thin fabric of the towel thin and not much of a cushion. I wrote a statement as to what had occurred. Feeling inspired, trying to adjust my position to get comfortable, I ended my five paragraph report, “I did not kill that woman with my dick no matter what the others might say!”
I marched the papers over to Officer Smiley’s desk ten paces away, adjusting my itchy ass in the process. Upon my return I inspected the bench to find it clean and dry, so I sat back down and got back up again, my right cheek burning. The officer looked at me, red-faced by the distraction, his non-verbals telling me to remain seated.
“Can I go now? This place is bothering me,” I mildly pleaded.
Reading the file, Officer Smiley- a man with the build of a retired football linebacker- said, ” You may have not killed her with it, but it was a contributing factor. Why the hell were you walking around with, and let me quote one of the girls here, ‘a foot-long erection,’ showing it to old ladies who might have a heart attack?”
Feeling hurt and demoralized by his sentiment, I said, “You know, you may not believe this, but before today- before about four hours ago- I didn’t know that I was larger than average. I got dragged down to this beach by my friend, Cindy, who said I needed to take my clothes off or go wait in the car… no idea I was going to a nude beach, and here I am. Never been naked in public before- not even in a locker room. So, her sister, Janelle, said I was fine naked and no matter what state I was in, that everybody would be naked, too, and I wouldn’t take notice. Well, they did take notice. How can I take responsibility for how someone else acts when they see another person naked?”
The rugged-looking officer said, “Yeah, but why are you walking around with an erection on a string for those girls to lead you around with? Think the regulars would not take notice? You could go in the water or lay down for a while.” He looked at me in mock disgust, blurting out, “Don’t you feel degraded by how they were treating you like a piece of meat?”
I said, “I was having fun, getting to know the girls is all. As for the erection, I get hard-ons all the time. And being so big, well, it’s the way GOD made me, so he must be right. If I had a choice, I’d wish for him to make me taller. So far, I’m not sure what use a large penis can do for me, but you are right: my dick is a piece of meat. So, why are you making such a big deal out of how god made me? The sin is yours, good sir, to not love your neighbor no matter how they are clothed. And I was not seduced, so I am not degraded in the least.”
He laughed, saying, “I’m not looking for a fight, Son. I’m just trying to give some advice because I’m fifty-six years old and know a few things. I don’t see how you broke any statutes, but you can’t return here as a visitor. I’m going to have my brother- he is chief of security for a few of these beaches- restrict you from the nude beaches in this area and make a note on Miss… Higigure’s card. We do not tolerate troublemakers at our nude beaches, Son. They yield great revenue for our town. I’m sorry, but you have to go.”
Here I thought I found a home, being so well received. Now, banished back into my clothing, I felt a tinge of empathy for Adam just after he got the boot to the fig leaves. I sulked my way toward the door, turned and asked, “Are you sure you want to ban me, Sir? I didn’t do anything illegal. Can’t I come back? You have such a fine beach here. Just about everyone liked me.” I felt tempted to tell him I’d not eat any more of that scrumptious apple.
Officer Smiley shook his head. “I don’t want the old girls to see you naked, else they may perish. Yes, a ban may save an old biddies life for another day. I’m sorry, Billy. Off to Michigan with you.” He popped open a can of Coke and handed it to me. “Now, have a good life.”
I shuffled out to the main portico looking for Cindy and the girls. No go. I went to where we were parked and the car was gone. I figured Janelle must have gotten pissed about me making a scene and ditched me. So, I went to where we pitched camp to find all they left me were my sandals atop a five dollar bill that was probably taken out of my wallet since that was all that was in there. It was wrapped up in the long strand of the pink ribbon, stuck under a small hand towel.
Ostracized by the authorities, shunned by my new friends, I felt destitute. I considered picking up an empty can to ask for money so I could get a cab. And clothes. My fucking clothes and wallet were gone. To make matters whores, in the bathroom I realized why my ass hurt… it was sunburned! Darla treated me right in the front, but both she and I forgot to take care of my Lilly-white buttocks, which now appeared a darkening strain of red. I wandered aimlessly toward the parking lot not sure what to do next. The concrete omitted a wave of heat that bent the light as I walked down the beach road leading to the highway. No Escalade in sight.
A Nissan Sentra whipped by, stopped abruptly and then rolled back toward me. Driving was the tall athletic college guy’s girlfriend, Diane. She smiled and said, “Hey, big dick Billy.” I could see her boyfriend in the passenger’s seat. I waived enthusiastically, moving toward her window feeling hopeful.
“Man, am I glad we found you,” he said leaning excitedly over her. “That towel… it’s my mom’s towel, Man. My mom loves that towel and I thought you’d give it right back once you made it to your blanket. I’m Robbie, by the way, and this is Diane. And you are Billy, right?”
“No,” Diane corrected him. “He’s ‘big dick’ Billy.”
“My friends left me here, Robbie! They took off while I was talking to the state police officer,” I said feeling upset again. “Look, you have to give me a ride home. I can do with some help.” As an after thought, I said to Diane, “Thanks for standing up for me earlier. I appreciate it. That old white haired man was an asshole.”
“I’m all for extremely large hard cocks bobbing up and down the beach. I will defend with my life your right to have one,” Diane said like a lawyer in court, her comment sounding somewhat familiar.
“We can’t give you a ride because we have to get to work. I’m late already. Look, I really need that towel; Mom would kill me if I lost it because it used to be my brothers,” said Robbie with a overtone of lament.
“Have you got some clothes I can wear?” I asked desperately.
“All I have is this uniform. Hon, can you give him your towel or do you have some sweats in the car we could give him?” asked Robbie of his girlfriend.
“No!” Diane said flustered by the request. “It’s brand new and I don’t want to give it up. I’m fucking broke.”
“I have five bucks. Can you take this?” I asked holding up the five spot hopefully. “I’ll make sure you get it back tomorrow, I swear!”
She shook her head defiantly. She spoke to Robbie. “He has a towel… the one he has on top of his head. He can use that.”
“It’s too small,” I said. “It’s a kitchen towel.”
Robbie reached in the back seat and grabbed Diane’s new beach towel. We exchanged the towels through the rear window. I threw him the five and it fluttered to the seat, where he snagged it. He said, “I’ll make up the difference.”
“No!” Diane said. “Robbie, we talked about this shit. You said you’d stop giving my stuff away when you feel it’s right.” She took hold of the towel in my hands and stomped her foot on the gas, her towel snapped from my grasp, now waiving like a defiant flag out the window as they sped out of my life.
“SHIT! What a bitch,” I screamed to myself.
I took the small towel off my head and held it against my genitalia. Not only did I loose my towel, but also, I lost the fucking money! Now, my unprotected ass was in the sun again. So, I turned to walk back to the concession area sideways, since it put my rear in the shade. And who do I see standing next to his Bronco police vehicle? Officer Smiley, who was scanning the growing crowd looking for someone no doubt, perhaps me. Embarrassing as it was, I needed his help.
Half way across the parking lot I caught a glimpse of a man walking fast toward me. I turned and recognized it was the old guy with the white hair wearing a silly looking hat, which I thought strange since his mother had just died. His bright Hawaiian shirt and white pants seemed festive. I looked down and what do I see? He also wore a butchers knife in his right hand, and his face was contorted with rage!
“How about I cut that prick off for you, you son of a bitch!” the white-haired man screamed at a full sprint.
I threw my towel in his face just at the right time and averted his thrust, the knife swishing by my tummy as I sucked it in. I knew better than to try to reason with him. I wanted to make a run to the cop, but the path was blocked, so I took off toward the water, running as fast as I could. Not sure why, but I felt like I could run faster totally naked, so I kicked off my sandals. It did help. He chased me and I watched as he lost his footing on the sandy pavement, giving me a twenty pace lead as we rushed into the dunes toward the low tide waterline. Making a trek around a dune I inadvertently ran into a middle-aged couple and decked the guy. I rolled and was up in an instant. “Sorry!” I yelled, as I tried to regain my lead in the shifting sand.
Turning to see how close he was, I noticed his pace had slowed. That was when I ran into the fifty-five gallon drum trashcan dead on. It knocked the air out of me and crushed my hip. I rolled to my side trying to catch my breath, the hot sand burning my now-sensitive tush. As the stars cleared, I could see the outline of a man standing ten paces from me, moving slowly, wheezing as if he were a pack-a-day smoker. I blotted the tears from my eyes with my arm and confirmed it was he who was chasing me.
“If it wasn’t for you, my mother would still be alive right now,” said the white-haired man with panting breath that held an overtone of justification. “It won’t hurt much. I’ll slice it off clean… and shove it in you mouth. It will choke you like it did my mother. That seems fitting for you, Boy.”
Shaking my head, I rolled away from him, but not fast enough. He landed a powerful fist on my jaw and I fell back down covering my face.
“John Turret,” said a voice thirty paces away. “Freeze and put down the knife or I will shoot you. Do it now, or I will fire.”
Holding my hands up in a defensive posture akin to a female cat protecting herself, I could see my best of friends, Officer Smiley, standing in a firing position with his gun drawn.
“He killed my mother and embarrassed me. He deserves to die,” said Mr. Turret, no longer moving toward me.
“Drop the knife and we will talk. I don’t want to shoot you, Sir, but I will. Make no mistake,” said the good officer.
“No! You can’t tell me what to do just because Mother died today. This boy deserves to be punished, but you didn’t arrest him, did you? Go, and let me castrate him. The cocky fuck deserves it, making this beach a mockery of what it’s supposed to be.” He waived the knife at me, the blade shimmering while he moved it. He took a step toward me, within range of a strike.
“Hold, Sir! Not another move or I will fire. This is your final warning,” said the officer looking deadly serious. I got the sense that he’d had to shoot to kill before. He took a step closer still in firing position.
The stern warning gave Mr. Turret a moment to pause. He looked at me squirming naked in the sand, unable to find traction without exposing myself further. He raked his face with his free hand, wiping sweat from his brow, contemplating his next move.
The disturbed man said, “I… I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” as he relaxed his stance, sounding inappropriately casual considering a gun was tracking his move. “It’s that, it’s not every day you loose your mother. And to have her go like that… it’s a travesty. Such a beautiful woman that was my mom should not go that way, you see.”
That’s when he made his move. He lunged toward me with a grunt fast as lightening, knife at the end of his extended arm, smiling happily like a clown handing a child a balloon. I tried to roll, but he was so close now. I struck my legs out toward him and missed. Then, BOOM! The shot from Officer Smiley’s gun kicked out a blast of fire that extended out two feet from the muzzle, and in slow motion I watched the bullet rip through Mr. Turret’s wrist, the knife wheeling past my head, followed by a spray of blood and the man’s scream. His empty hand slapped my face and smeared me with blood. He kept coming at me with his arm bleeding profusely, trying to get a hold on my slippery neck with his good hand.
“I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch,” he wailed. “Think a bullet will stop me. You… ahhhh!”
That was when Officer Smiley hit him in the head with his service baton. SMACK! Right on his forehead. It knocked him cold and he fell into me, drenching me in his blood. By the time I got up, onlookers were responding to the gunshot. A young man ran over and gave Mr. Turret first aid in the form of a tourniquet.
An attractive black woman in a one-piece bathing suit came up to me, said she was an RN, then inspected the front of my blood spattered body, asking me if I was hurt or cut. I shook my head still in shock, not sure myself it he landed a blow with that sharp knife or not. “You sure got sunburn back here. That white ass is pretty pink now.” She smacked my cheeks to remove the sand. “The blood will come off, but you are going to have a hard time with that sunburn,” she said. Later on- before I got into the back of the Bronco- she slipped me her name and number and asked me to call her, if I had any interest in talking about what happened.
Even though Mr. Turret was out like a light, the officer cuffed him face down in the sand. He said into the microphone on his shoulder, “I have him. He is in my custody. Bring the cruiser over now, Jack, if you would, and send for an ambulance. And the boy needs some clothes.” He turned to me and said, “Didn’t I tell you to put some clothes on and go home?” He pondered this for a moment then said, “Perhaps it’s better it worked out this way, since we have him in custody. I had a feeling about him.”
“You are one hell of a shot. Thanks, you saved my life. That was close,” I said with sincere gratitude.
Having involved myself in the receiving end of an assault, I was driven to the headquarters where I gave a video testimony. They let me take a shower, gave me some unfitting clothes to put on and I was told I should not leave town. Four hours later my Aunt Peg picked me up at the police station with a change of clothes. She was confused about the details and I did my best to fill her in without offering too much of the truth. My aunt is pretty cool and she knew not to probe too much at that very moment, but I could tell she knew there was more to the story. She bought us fast food and we settled into the den at home to watch television.
The six o’clock local news was on and after a few lead stories, the woman anchor sitting next to her rigid co-host said, “Tom, some strange local news this evening. Apparently, there was a commotion down at Lido Beach, where the rich hang out naked, from what I am told. We don’t have all of the details, but a young man was accused of murdering an old woman with his… I’m not sure how to word this…”
I stopped eating.
The male anchor, who was wearing a putrid yellow tie, cut in and said, “Nude beach… hmmm… with his dingy spout?” This raised chuckles from off-stage. “What, did he beat her to death with it, Caroline?”
“I don’t know. We have a brief report from Robin Atwood, who was onto the story once the police were called in. Robin, are you there?” asked Caroline.
“Yes, I am, Caroline, and hello, Tom. It is a strange day at the beach, especially since this occurred on private property at the exclusive Lido Beach during a party. We are still not sure if this was a murder or if the boy brought about the heart attack of an elderly nudist after taunting her with his body, which then incited her son to attack this boy with a large knife. The police officer on call fired and shot the knife right out of his hands, from what I am told. The woman is dead and other injuries were reported, and the man who assaulted this teenager is in custody at the hospital. Now, we were not admitted onto the property, but I did get one interview from a witness who was there.”
The program cut to a close-up the girl I recognized as the one that started the chant about god having a big dick. She said, “It started out so hysterical. This naked boy got excited and he was huge! Some guy wanted him to go lay down and we got into a spat, I guess you would call it. Anyway, the next thing I knew, one of the nice old ladies who I see often died. That’s all I know, other than the girls where calling him BEEP BEEP Billy… can I say that on television?” (The ‘big dick’ part having been censored as she suspected). “Her son was always weird, so I can see him doing something like that to BEEP BEEP Billy. I am so glad he didn’t hurt him.”
And all of a sudden I see a video of myself on television! Someone took out their cell-camera against the rules and caught a good part of our parade, my penis blotted out with a blur effect. I was carrying all the beach paraphernalia, smiling away, while it was clearly viable I was being led by a shapely blond woman- you could only see Janelle’s back and legs- who grasped a ribbon in her hand, other end obviously leading to my distorted groin region.
“That’s you!” Shouted Aunt Peg. “Billy, what have you gotten yourself into? What were you doing at a nude beach? You didn’t say this happened at a nude beach. What was she doing to you? Your father will kill you if he finds out. My god, and he will blame me. With your upbringing I cannot believe you did that. What’s the matter with you?”
The broadcast cut back to the newsroom, where Tom mentioned, “That really is quite an impressive blur spot.”
“It certainly is,” said Diane nodding her head, squinting at the monitor. “Nothing like that ever happens at my beach. It’s Dullsville. A bunch of mothers with their children. Perhaps the beach is best that way. I’ll have to think about that one.”
Tom finished up by saying, “Next up after the break, the weather. See how your nude, or not-so-nude, beach will fend come tomorrow… after this.”
If I weren’t the headline in that story I’d say it was a well done short piece on local events. And headlining as I was, Aunt Peg was beside herself with grief. “What am I going to tell your father?” she asked rhetorically, pacing the living room. “He’s never going to talk to me again.”
I had a clear moment of though when she asked me that disturbing question. I replied, “You can tell him that he kept me so sheltered I had no idea I was so different sexually and it made me feel happy for a short while to learn that I was at least special in some sort of way; more so than he ever made me feel special. It was like I had celebrity status for a few hours, but I didn’t kill that lady with my penis. You can tell him that there is not a thing wrong with being naked, too, that I am not going to hell no matter what he thinks. And, Aunt Peg, you can tell him I loved how those people looked at me. It excited me. Tell him that!”
We watched the television commercials in silence, each of us preoccupied with internal dialogue. To break the silence, I asked, “If somebody films you naked with an erection, does that constitute pornography?”
Aunt Peg shook her head in despair. “There has to be a sexual act for it to be pornographic, but that video was pretty close from what I could see. Certainly your mom and dad will think it so. You may end up on their shit list along with me.”
Much to my initial horror, three days later the video went viral on YouTube, with a great rap song that went well with the video about how this old lady keeled over and died because she saw my magical erection. The piece lasted three minutes. The catch phrase of the tune:
“You got me and me on a lovin’ leash,
so just keep callin’ when ya need a piece.
I’m a slave for your lovin’ Baby, a dick on a string.
Baby, give a pull and I’ll lay some down a killin for ya;
With my big meat, I’m gonna make you sing.”
After giving me my wallet and cell back, Cindy told me an unedited version was released at Pirated Bays- a file sharing site for such things. She pointed out that the four of us will forever be remembered for that nude beach penis parade; fun in the sun that resulted in a death, an attempted castration (if not murder) and a bullet wound.
Cindy said, “If I had known I would have worked out. You looked hot, but my pudgy ass is all over the place, so I’m going on a diet.”
She made no apologies to me, other than that Janelle had to bug-out because she had a warrant for outstanding parking tickets. I didn’t make issue of it because I wanted to remain friends with her. It was the beginning of a memorable summer I may find time to share. In the mean time, be thankful for what you have because no matter how lackadaisical and normal you think you are, there will be a day when someone will help you see just how special you are; god’s gift blatantly revealed.
I hope all good souls will have at least one day suchlike my day at the beach, when that special thing about you is revealed under the warmth of a bright and sunny day.
END (Written by MacHill)