David and I met at church when we were still quite young. We lived not far from each other and played together often as children. As we grew to maturity we became nearly inseparable and often held bible study groups together.
I was not shocked in the least when he proposed marriage on the eve of my 19th birthday. I was, however, very happy and accepted without hesitation. Two years later his father performed our wedding ceremony and we were pronounced man and wife. The reception was wonderful, all our friends and family, the entire church was there. And we had every thing we needed to begin our life journey. I do admit I was a bit nervous about dancing at the reception. Our church frowns on this sort of heathen behavior so we had never done it before. But it seemed expected of us, so we made the best of it.
As he held me close and we swayed to and fro, I could not help noticing the warm sensation that flowed through me. Nor could I ignore the growing bulge in the front of his pants as we moved. It embarrassed him greatly and when “The Old Rugged Cross” ended we again took our seats and David did his very best to hide his embarrassment, both the physical and emotional.
This also increased my nervous feelings about the consummation of our bonds later that night. My mother had done her best to explain the necessity of the act. It is, after all the way of life. She had explained the severe pain she had suffered and that it was God’s punishment for Eve taking of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. It is an eternal reminder that we as women have a duty to obey the word of God and protect our husband from the evil distractions of the world. I steeled myself with the acceptance that it was for the greater good.
She told me all I needed to know to prepare, a hot bath prior to the act would help relax me and would help ease the pain of the first time, though admittedly she claimed she could not be certain as there was no way to test the theory. She also explained that the LaFevre women have always been gifted with thick, lush hair both on their heads and the nether regions and while our dark manes made us more attractive, the thick hair down there only made sex more of a discomfort especially at the beginning of the act. She said it seemed to cling to a mans parts and get dragged inside, the hairs being pulled like that made things very uncomfortable until the body lubricated the canal. At that point the act would be tolerable. However, to cut that hair would be sinful, a statement that I didn’t quite understand, but she was the wiser so I didn’t argue.
It was late when we arrived at his small apartment, very late indeed. I must admit that after such a long day, I was exhausted, yet the anticipation and apprehension heightened minute by minute. I could not have been more awake and alert. David opened the door and swiftly swept me up in his arms, the tradition I had dreamed of for years was finally upon me. And I reveled in it.
“‘Be fruitful and multiply.’ Thus sayeth the Lord.” He said as he gently put me down inside the door. As he led me toward his bedroom I could feel my nervous jitters increase until I was visibly shivering. He seemed to pay it no attention and immediately started removing his tuxedo. I watched as he stripped to his undershirt and boxer shorts, then he turned to me. “Need help undoing your dress?” he asked.
My voice would not come, I nodded nervously and he walked behind me. I felt his breath falling lightly but hotly on my neck and the buttons on the back of my dress opening one by one. I had never been undressed in front of a man before and even though he was now my husband, I felt shameful and dirty. My knees began to wobble, I could not keep them still, they would give out on me at any moment, I was sure of it.
David slid the dress off my shoulders, my face hot with blush as he tugged it down. He gently pulled my arms free and the dress I had dreamed of wearing since I was a little girl fell in a heap on the floor. I felt the tears begin to run down my cheeks; my quiet sobs shook my body.
“David,” I pleaded, “please, let me take a hot bath first. It’s been a long day and I’ve been clammy in my nervousness. Let me clean myself up and smell nice for you.”
“Aggie, I know you’re nervous but I have been waiting for this moment for oh, so long and if I must wait another moment I will surely burst.”
“David!” I cried out startled by his open lust, “Please! I mustn’t…”
“You are my wife now. There are no secrets between us. Yes, I have lusted for you for these past two years and sought solace in the Lord for the strength to wait for this day. There is surely no sin in my lust as it is borne of my love for you. Now come, I have learned something that will make this less painful for you.”
My mouth was most certainly still agape, but my heart soared at the thought there would be relief from the pain. He led me to the foot of the bed and told me to bend over and hold the bedcovers for support. Then I heard a sound that was familiar, the sound of liquid from a pump bottle. I turned to see him rubbing hand lotion on his fully erect penis.
“It will lubricate us and ease your pain. It is something I thought of these many long months as I lie awake in bed thinking of you.”
“David! You have been fornicating?”
“Yes, Aggie, my love. Thinking of you and this moment each time. There cannot be sin in that, my love, I was always thinking of you as my wife.”
“And this wicked position you have placed me in? Is that the way you pictured it when you… When you… Oh, David I can’t even…”
“Calm down, my love, it is only for this one time and it is to ease your suffering. God cannot fault me for wanting to protect you from that. Now please, be quiet. Close your eyes if you think it will help.”
Bent over the end of the bed, leaning down on my elbows, I was trembling so badly my knees nearly collapsed. His hands grasped my hips and held me up. I could feel his hardness prodding and pulsing between my thighs, smearing the warm slippery lotion on my skin. With one hand he stroked my back, rubbing across the satin of my slip, his other hand pulled my panties roughly aside. My knees gave again.
He pulled me gently back up, whispering, “Relax, Aggie, Everything is going to be fine.”
I silently prayed to Jesus and Mary to give me strength for my husband as I felt him slowly push inside me.
I cannot describe the pain I felt except to say I imagined I was being impaled by a burning fencepost. I fought waves of nausea, my shrill cries echoed in the room. Everything went dark for a long moment; I could hear nothing but my own ragged breathing and the furious beating of my heart.
Slowly the world came back to me, I could feel the bedcovers crumpled and damp from tears under my cheek and the fiery burning in my loins. The only sensation that told me he was still plunging in and out of me was his thighs beating against the back of my own.
Wracked with excruciating pain, I tried to tell him to stop, my breath was too broken and my mind too assailed to form the words. My hands grasped at the covers, pulling them to my face. I prayed again, this time that The Lord take me and end my suffering.
My prayer was answered in an unexpected way. The burning pain began to fade into a warmth that permeated my entire being. Somehow a peaceful feeling was filling my soul and I had no more fear. My loins began to tingle and a chill crept up my spine, reinvigorating me.
My legs felt strong again. I let my feet slip farther apart, feeling his scepter slipping slowly into my depths and retreating again. I was compelled to rise up on my toes, falling back down on him as he thrust inside me. I heard him whisper a quiet Praise to God and I echoed it, pushing myself up from the bed.
A sensation was filling me, as though the Holy Spirit itself was residing within me. I gasped as our bodies met again and again. I was overcome, my body moving of its own volition to match his movements. I began to sing. Random verses from every hymn I had ever heard. Then I began speaking in tongues. Shouting words I had only rarely heard and never considered the sort a Christian lady would utter quietly in private, let alone, scream them at the top of my voice.
David seemed to be caught up in the spirit as well; I had to adjust my pace to meet his faster thrusts. My body quivered, only slightly at first, but the tremors reached uncontrollable waves as I sang and cried out in praise of the Father. My head rolled and lolled limply on my shoulders as The Holy Spirit swept me up.
“Sweet Jesus! Take me up in your arms!” I cried out as David spasmed against me.
I can only imagine that heaven is filled with more joy, I cannot, however fathom how.
David and I fell upon the bed, laughing and kissing, feeling at one with the Trinity as we drifted off.
I have tried to tell my mother of the feelings David and I share in our private worship, the peace and joy we experience in our lovemaking. But she will not allow herself to listen. She does not understand that it is through praise of our savior Jesus Christ that we reach such blissful harmony. But we know that The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
David and I do not try to explain the mystery; we merely revel in its glory.